I didn't realize it would be in front of a crowd...
|kaja||Oct 31, 2019|| 2|
I don’t think most people get introduced to kink in a public place. My first experience involved around 200 people and a married couple I was seeing at the time. They were the first polyam couple I’d encountered that (at the time) had a healthy relationship with well-negotiated boundaries and I was curious about what that was all about as a recovering-evangelical, twenty-something singleton barista. I had been living a relatively sheltered life, pining away for unrequited crushes and wondering if I’d ever meet someone.
Then one summer, I met this couple online and we hit it off. We ate dinner at my favorite date spot while they were on their way through town to visit family on the East coast. Looking back on it now, I realize that I was trying to woo them both, pouring on the charm and trying to make them laugh during dinner. After their trip, we reconvened online and made plans for me to visit them up north. On that trip, I confessed to her that I wanted to be closer. She wanted to be close with me, too. I was elated and smitten.
She was soft and femme with long, glossy hair and a butterfly tattoo. She sent me the most romantic mixtape ever (it still hasn’t been topped) and periodic care packages that made me feel properly seen and loved. Whenever I’d visit, we’d hold hands in the grocery store and make out on the couch with our stuffed animal audience. He would putter around the house, enjoying our glow. I would cuddle with him while she was in the shower or making dinner and he would laugh his big, bellowing laugh. It felt… like family. It felt normal and good. It felt like I’d finally figured it out. Polyamory made sense to me before I even knew any of the terminology or that it was even an option!
Before one of my trips, she suggested we hit a local fetish show during my visit. I was a nervous newbie, but totally game. I had seen them do some light play before and was really intrigued, but didn’t know if I could take pain or what it meant to be submissive or dominant, really. So much of their sex life was new to me. Anal sex, impact play, e-stim, D/s, blood play, and other kinky stuff was uncharted territory. I was curious, though, and willing to be taught.
I did a little online research and found the event website. The event featured a touring troupe of kink performers who spanked and pinched and flogged their way through the country and were making another stop in my partners’ city. I gawked at the photos of the pretty people and hoped they’d torture me, too!
We made getting ready for the night foreplay and I was already wet as I slid my black velvet undies up my thighs and straightened my plaid schoolgirl skirt. As I tied my curly hair into pigtails, she came up behind me and kissed my neck, calling me “pet.” I smiled, took in her scent, and felt like the luckiest girl in the world. He came into the bedroom in a leather vest and black jeans with a pair of Docs and a flogger in his hand. I almost gasped, he was so handsome and looked so powerful. He gave me a little spank to prepare me for what might happen that night and as the leather strips hit the back of my bare thigh, I felt that little twinge down below. They placed a collar on my neck and told me if I was good, I’d get my own one day. I melted. Yes, this was perfect.
She put a leash on me the moment we stepped out of the car. “Mine,” she whispered in my ear. We worked our way up to the front of the stage, where she signaled to the emcee that we wanted to hop onstage and join the fun already in progress. She took my trembling hand and led me up the stairs.
We were greeted by people who made my eyes grow big with curiosity and delight. They wore leather and latex and O-ring collars. There was a woman with gorgeous red teased hair wearing the tallest heels I’d ever seen, her pale cleavage nearly spilling over her bodice. My eyes were immediately drawn back to my girlfriend/owner, who aided a strapping young buck as they put my wrists in restraints and made sure I was secure on the St. Andrews cross in the center of the stage.
The crowd murmured and as my lover drew back to land a warm-up smack on my ass, some catcalls went up in the front row. As she worked me over, I glimpsed a woman making eye contact with me, knowingly smiling with an arched eyebrow. I loved the attention as the audience cried out for my owner to tighten the leash, to make my ass candy-red. A few of the troupe members came by to get in some licks and were amused to find that this was my very first kink experience. They gave me a little extra care and checked in with me to make sure I was doing okay. That gorgeous redhead in the corset came to stand in front of me, her tits nearly grazing my face as she leaned in to ask me where I was from. She giggled and began to run her long acrylic nails down my arms from armpit to wrist. I writhed in ecstasy as she scratched my arms until they were bright red. My girlfriend took the lollipop from her pink mouth and put it into mine. I sucked and wished for her clit.
We teased the audience and were onstage for quite some time since the crowd seemed to enjoy our playfulness. My girlfriend took the lollipop from my mouth and seductively ran the sweet candy over my nearly exposed breasts, tracing the sugar with her tongue. As a third gentleman flogged me, I begged and pleaded, “Harder! Please, harder!” He obliged and my eyes rolled back into my head.
The troupe emcee finally let us know we needed to yield the space to other people who wanted to play, so we stepped down into the crowd. We made a beeline for the restroom, but were stopped by the cute girl from the audience who asked if she could play with me. My girlfriend replied that I belonged to her and no thank you. It felt damn good to be owned - to be owned and desired and wanted with urgency.
We crammed into a stall, lips pressed to lips. She slid her hand down the waistband of my skirt and touched me gently, her finger tracing my folds and then teasing my clit. She whispered, “More of this later,” and we made our way back outside, where we perched at the bar with our third and watched more of the show.
The drive home was mundane and took so long, I became slightly agitated. I wanted to keep playing forever. The delicious discomfort of being flogged and pinched and smacked filled my head and took over. He dropped us off at the door and went to find parking around the block. We stripped off our winter coats and she settled into a chair by the window. I immediately knelt at her feet and asked to pull back her skirt and taste her for the first time. I desperately lapped at her cunt, her juices covering my face. The door opened, and as he entered the living room, he let out a low moan of pleasure at the sight of his wife being licked.
He sat on the couch just a couple of feet away, and watched us as my head bobbed in front of her and her thighs began to shake. He took his cock out and began slowly stroking it, never taking his eyes off us. She tapped my shoulder and moved me to the floor, directing me to get on hands and knees. She spanked me and he told me how good I was to take so much pain my first time. “What a good girl,” she growled in my ear. My pussy was absolutely dripping now; I wanted to be fucked by them both. I wanted her to strap on her cock and fuck me. I wanted to suck him off, his cum dripping down my chin. I felt like I was going to explode. The pain from the spanking radiated from my ass all the way down my thighs and then snaked up my spine. I felt invincible.
“How was that, baby girl?” she asked me. I shivered a little and said, “This has been the best night. Thank you, ma’am.” We three adjourned to the bedroom for more fun and I sighed contentedly. There were giggles and tears, commands and requests. We negotiated as we went, my first lesson in how utterly hot gaining consent from your partner can be. When our bodies finally gave out, the three of us cuddled under the sheets, glowing and satiated.
After we broke up, it took me almost two decades to come back around to kink. That first experience was formative in how I revere and respect those who provide safe play spaces, especially for those of us who are new to the BDSM world. I was lucky to be tortured so lovingly and with such care in front of a couple hundred people. Being physically exposed and vulnerable in a supportive public space was the most free I’d ever felt.
That night, I learned something about my own desires and how to trust someone else with them.
And I’m still learning. It’s painful in the best way.